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A computer programmer, a manager, and a mechanic loose control of their car going down the hill. The mechanic says "Hey why don't I take this car apart and fix it". The manager says "Why don't we form a committe to make sure this doesn't happen again". The computer programmer says "Why don't we push it back up the hill to see if it crashes again?"

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A Blonde's Year in Review



Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.



Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....

Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer !!!



Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...... Box said

"2-4 years!"



Trapped on escalator for hours ..... Power went out!!!



Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of

Water won't fit into those little packets!!!



Tried to go water skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.



Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later,

The other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!



Got locked out of my car in rain storm..... Car swamped because soft-top

was open.



The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???



Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.



Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I

weigh 108!!



Couldn't call 911 .. "duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid


Edited by gabriel
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God was fed up. In a crash of thunder he/she yanked up to Heaven three influential humans, George Bush, Russian President, and Bill Gates. "The human race is a complete disappointment," God boomed.


"You each have one week to prepare your followers for the end of the world." Then, with another crash of thunder they found themselves back on Earth.


Bush immediately called in his cabinet. "I have good news and bad news," he announced grimly.


"The good news is that there is god. The bad news is Gods really mad and plans to end the world in a week."


The Russia President announced to parliament, "Comrades, I have bad news and worse news. The bad news is that we were wrong, there is a god after all. The worse news is Gods mad and is going to end the world in a week."


Meanwhile, Bill Gates called a meeting of his top engineers. "I have good news and better news. The good news is that God considers me one of the three most influential men on Earth," he beamed.


"The better news is we don't have to fix Windows Vista."

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A mathmatician, a physicist, and an engineer were all given a red rubber

ball and told to find the volume. The mathmatician carefully measured

the diamaeter and evaluated a triple integral. The physicist filled a

beaker with water, put the ball in the water, and measured the total

displacement. The engineer looked up the model and serial numbers in

his red-rubber-ball table.


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Once upon a day, a Ph.D student wrote "It is clear", in the main step of his proof of a theorem in his qualifying exam.

The examiner told him "you could remove the whole of your proof and write "Proof: It is clear. Halmos' tombstone""

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